urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:oh_my_mikes They joys of Orgasm.. Mikey Way 2006-03-30T03:50:17Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:oh_my_mikes:4492 2006-03-16T23:16:30Z 2006-03-28T05:39:03Z And you see, this is the point where I no longer know what to say, how to act. This is the point where Mikey is officially lost, not only to the world, but within himself. I can’t do anything right, so it seems. I fuck everything up. It seems like I stated this before but people failed to take heed. So now I’m left with this, the world of decisions on my shoulders. Did none of you get the memo? I can’t make fucking decisions. <br /><br />So now I am here, thinking to myself what the solution could be. I could either be a fucking man and further break their hearts, or I could run. The easier of the two is starting to slowly creep up onto me. <br /><br />You want to know the truth?<br /><br />I’m scared to fucking death of commitment. That once I really invest and attach myself, someone will come along and rip them out of my grasp. I’m scared of having anything with Gerard. If he was taken from me, in any way, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I can’t run with him and leave everyone here. He doesn’t realize that. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get through this. All I want is someone to tell me point blank what to do. I love him.<br /><br />Bert though. Fuck. The bruises aren’t gone, my body is still aching from every touch, shuddering in pleasure from every hot whisper against my ear. Being claimed, owned… it would be amazing. I know that. Recently I’ve had the fear of loosing him as well. That he wont be satisfied, or his previous romancer will slip into my place. Seems like it’s already happening. I have faith though. He doesn’t deserve this shit. I need to get over myself. <br /><br />You just don’t understand how badly this is tearing me up, having to hurt people. Especially having to hurt the people that make up my life.. My heart. <br /><br />Gerard. I’m sorry about last night. I never thought it would end up like it did. Remember what I said. No matter what happens.. I love you, and I will forever. I just can’t do this now. It hurts too much…. I’m not good for you. I wish you could understand it. <br /><br />You can hate me. <br /><br />I hate myself. <br /><br />Bert. Come and see me, as soon as you can. I can’t take this anymore. <br /><br /><br />So here I am.. <br /><br />The thing that will come next will be my last word. <br /><br />I’m leaving for good soon. <br /><br /><br /><br />* Frank. Blue and Black. Let me get one punch in. &hearts; urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:oh_my_mikes:401 2006-01-25T22:31:50Z 2006-03-30T03:50:17Z <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v426/Eadon/Mikey/MikeyFriendsOnly.jpg" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket">&lt;/a&gt;